One great thing about Major League Soccer is that there is always a story. Whether it is Revs staffers preventing a mid-air disaster or hoolaginism taking foot in Columbus (of all places), there really is never a dull moment. The same can be said about this posting. I can prove it -- read on.
Buy Me
Carlos Ruiz, Los Angeles Galaxy: "Why should you buy me? Because I'm the best forward in this league when I want to be, and especially when Taylor Twellman is hurt, which seems like an awful lot lately. Sure, I take dives and whine and complain all the time, but I put the ball in the back of the net when given a chance. You think L.A. is going to trade me? Well don't be so sure. And even if they do, so what? I'll still find a way to put the ball in the back of the net, just like I did against the Red Bulls last weekend. Trust me, I'm only getting warmed up."
Jorge Rojas, New York Red Bulls: "I know I missed a couple of fairly easy chances to score one of my own against the Galaxy, but I still had a pretty good game with a pair of assists in my MLS debut. And like Juan Carlos Osorio said, I may be able to turn this team around, especially with the help of my buddy Juan Pietravallo. If you combine my passing and vision with Juan Pablo Angel's finishing skills, you may be onto something there. Juan Carlos Osorio, Juan Pietravallo, Juan Pablo Angel. That's a lot of Juans. I hope you don't get confused about which Juan I'm talking about. Ha! I love America."
Jon Busch, Chicago Fire: "Statistically, I am the best goalkeeper in Major League Soccer. It doesn't matter if I'm also the shortest, and perhaps also the loudest. The fact is, I have the lowest goals against average, the second most shutouts, and I've earned more 'fantasy points' or whatever you nerds out there call them than any other 'keeper. And somehow there are still 14 other goalies out there who cost more than I do, including two that haven't played a game this season! Forget this -- I'm going to the All-Star Game. Oh, wait, no I'm not. What a joke."
Sell Me
Brad Guzan, Chivas USA; Chris Seitz, Real Salt Lake; Patrick Ianni, Houston Dynamo; Michael Parkhurst, New England Revolution; Nathan Sturgis, Real Salt Lake; Marvell Wynne, Toronto FC; Maurice Edu, Toronto FC; Stuart Holden, Houston Dynamo; Sacha Kljestan, Chivas USA; Robbie Rogers, Columbus Crew: (In unison) "We're going to China."
Bouna Coundoul: "I can't explain why I was so far off my line on both of the goals that FC Dallas scored against me. There really is no excuse. From now on I'm staying inside the six-yard box. Yes, Fernando, I promise!"
Abel Xavier, Los Angeles Galaxy: "Wow, I've really fallen quite a long ways. I got waived."
Franco Niell, D.C. United: "Me too. I thought when my agent said MLS was a 'smaller' league he meant my lack of size wouldn't hinder my success. Oops."
Laugh at Me
C.J. Brown, Chicago Fire: "I'm old. I'm way past my prime. I've only played three games this season, and I definitely won't be playing against the Wizards on Sunday. Why? Because I got red carded against Real Salt Lake while warming up with the other possible substitutes. I've really gotta retire."
WOW (Worst of the Week) Award: See Laugh at Me.